Assaults on your person are most often situations or crimes of opportunity. Unfortunately, you often have a hand in creating that opportunity through a lack of awareness and observation skills. When dealing with potentially violent people, remember these three primary rules:

• Do not insult them.
• Do not challenge them.
• Try to provide them with an Honorable exit, so that they can feel they have not backed down, or lost face.

Being passive invites a potential attacker to continue his actions against you. Being aggressive may escalate the perpatrator into physical violence.

The best approach is one of readied assertiveness, which comes from having control of yourself, rather than being controlled. When you react, often fear driven, someone or something else, is in control. When you respond, that is a result of planned preparedness, which comes from understanding yourself and your fears, and overcoming these fears by recognizing and strengthening your personal self image, combined with the mental skills of observation and awareness.

In an office situation faced by a student, who had gone through our course, "Mr.Smith" approached and made one of his usual, casual sexual remarks. In a loud, clear voice, she said,"Mr. Smith, I DO NOT appreciate this kind of talk, and I will NOT tolerate it one day more!" "Mr. Smith's" face went pale, as he backed a few steps away from her.

Note that by following the primary rules, and by asserting herself, she was not aggressive, challenging, or insulting, but, she was no longer passive, either. It allows "Mr. Smith" an exit without further humiliation.

Although the outcome of this situation was positive, each situation, and, the personalities involved, is different. In a street altercation, an attacker may back off when he/she realizes you will not be an "easy" target, but rather a "HARD TARGET".

Learning to set verbal boundries is not difficult, however, it does require some personal introspection and understanding of yourself, along with practice! We
repeat-PRACTICE!, PRACTICE, and oh yes, PRACTICE!! YOU are the person most responsible for your own safety. NEVER FORGET THAT! Always give yourself options for escaping situations, especially crime situations, until you can reach help, or help can reach you.

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